Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Has anyone been tricked into having sex with a shemale? How was the experience?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t cotton to rapists

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I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

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I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

What are some signs he is deeply in love with you?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Do you agree with US Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth that it is unrealistic to expect Ukraine to return to its pre-2014 borders?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

What are some good customer engagement platforms?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

The U.S. hasn’t seen a new confirmed human bird flu case in nearly 4 months — why? - Yahoo

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I can count

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Do you like wearing short skirts?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Is it possible to become homeless after being released from jail or prison in the United States?

I can read

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

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When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

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Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have a reading level above third grade

I actually pay taxes

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I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t buy bullshit

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I see through liars

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”